Making Amends

Let’s look at Steps Eight and Nine. We have a list of people we have harmed and to whom we are willing to make amends. We made it when we took inventory. Now we go out and repair the damage done in the past.

As we look over the list of business acquaintances and friends we have hurt, we may feel diffident about going to some of them on a spiritual basis. To some people we need not, and probably should not emphasise the spiritual feature on our first approach. We may kill a future opportunity to carry a beneficial message. But our man is sure to be impressed with a sincere desire to set right the wrong. He is going to be more interested in a demonstration of good will than in our talk of spiritual discoveries.

The question of how to approach the man we hated will arise. It may be he has done us more harm than we have done him and, though we may have acquired a better attitude toward him, we are still not too keen about admitting our faults. It is harder to go to an enemy than to a friend, but we find it much more beneficial to us. We go to him in a helpful and forgiving spirit, confessing our former ill feeling and expressing our regret.

Under no condition do we criticise such a person or argue. Simply we tell him that we will never get over drinking until we have done our utmost to straighten out the past. We are there to sweep off our side of the street, realising that nothing worthwhile can be accomplished until we do so, never trying to tell him what he should do. His faults are not discussed. We stick our own. If our manner is calm, frank, and open, we will be gratified with the result.

In nine cases out of ten the unexpected happens. Sometimes the man we are calling upon admits his own fault, so feuds of years’ standing melt away in an hour. Rarely do we fail to make satisfactory progress. Our former enemies sometimes praise what we are doing and wish us well. Occasionally, they will offer assistance. It should not matter, however, if someone does throw us out of his office. We have made our demonstration, done our part. It’s water over the dam. (To be continued next week)

Got a drinking problem? Call 022 2301 6767

DNA Newspaper Mumbai Edition Published Date: Jun 05, 2012

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