Mending Relationships

Alcohol is so sexually stimulating to some that they have over-indulged. Couples are occasionally dismayed to find that when drinking is stopped the man tends to be impotent. Unless the reason is understood, there may be an emotional upset. Some of us had this experience, only to enjoy, in a few months, a finer intimacy than ever. There should be no hesitancy in consulting a doctor or psychologist if the condition persists.

The alcoholic may find it hard to re-establish friendly relations with his children. Their young minds were impressionable while he was drinking. They are sometimes dominated by a pathetic hardness and cynicism. They cannot seem to forgive and forget. This may hang on for months.

But in time they will see that s/he is a new person and in their own way they will let them know it. From that point on, progress will be rapid. Marvelous results often follow such a reunion.

Whether the family goes on a spiritual basis or not, the alcoholic member has to if he would recover. The others must be convinced of his new status beyond the shadow of a doubt. Seeing is believing to most families who have lived with a drinker.

Here is a case in point: One of our friends is a heavy smoker and coffee drinker. Seeing this, and meaning to be helpful, his wife commenced to admonish him about it. He admitted he was overdoing these things, but frankly said that he was not ready to stop. His wife is one of those persons who really feels there is something rather sinful about these commodities, so she nagged, and her intolerance finally threw him into a fit of anger. He got drunk.

Of course our friend was wrong – dead wrong. He had to painfully admit that and mend his spiritual fences. Though he is now a most effective member of Alcoholics Anonymous, he still smokes and drinks coffee, but neither his wife nor anyone else stands in judgment. She sees she was wrong to make a burning issue out of such matter when his more serious ailments were being rapidly cured.

Reprinted from the Big Book, Alcoholics Anonymous, page #134-135, with permission of AA World Services, Inc.

Call 09022 771011 or email for more information or to get a free copy of the Alcoholics Anonymous text

DNA Newspaper Mumbai Edition Published Date: Dec 11, 2012

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